To Forgive; Divine

Most of my posts are often inspired by someone in my life or something that happens throughout the course of my day.  I was touched to receive a message on my CC community asking me to write about a specific topic that could hopefully motivate and encourage people.  Thank you for the message Susan (joyful)!

Think back to a week ago; a month ago; a year ago.  Many different people have said many different things to me.  I find it interesting that I remember a lot of the negative things that people have said to me or about me, but can’t remember any compliments that I have received in the recent past.  Negativity directed towards you, specifically from friends or family, can be haunting and put a major strain on even the best of relationships.  There are many people out there who have estranged family members, which could be due to a variety of different reasons.

A tense relationship with a friend or a loved one is stressful.  I’ve been there, as everyone has to varying degrees of severity.  It’s not fun, and as the stress builds up, the adverse effects of the stress will rear its ugly head.  Some people turn to alcohol abuse.  Others turn to other forms of abuse.  For others such as myself, we will rapidly gain or lose weight, often times to unhealthy levels.

If the mind is willing, the body will follow.  If the mind is unwilling, the body will still follow, just down the wrong path.  Can stress lead to eating disorders?  Of course!  How many times have you had a bad day and just wanted to come home and eat a tub of ice cream or a bag of chips in front of the TV?  To find the solution to this particular stress, you need only look at the causes.  Anger.  Fear of getting hurt again.  Resentment towards the negativity directed at you.

This is where forgiveness comes into play; the act of letting go of your resentment and your grudges and working to rebuild your relationship.  This is not to say that whatever wrongs have been committed are justifiable, but rather it’s a conscious decision to let go of your anger and try to rebuild a healthy and meaningful relationship.  What is the point of holding a grudge?  What are you gaining from not speaking to a close friend or family member?  The animosity and resentment is building inside you and building inside them, which doesn’t help anyone.

December is a month where many families gather for the holidays, and as such, here is my challenge to those that read this blog.  If you have a relationship with a family member that includes a large amount of hostility, I challenge you to improve that relationship, rise above the disharmony, and do your best to bury the hatchet.  While you may not see immediate results, don’t stop trying.  Keep at it.  Moving towards a more positive interaction can lift a huge burden off of you and your loved ones.

Let go of your resentment and your feuds and focus on building positive and enjoyable relationships.  Life is way too short to be holding on to grudges.

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10 thoughts on “To Forgive; Divine

  1. awe, lovely blog post, wonderful sentiment. Thanks Susan and Sharstopper! Perfect reflection for the season of giving. I’ve been having a terrible time lately with stress eating, so you’re post couldn’t have come at a better time.

    • Thank you for your support, Hazel. I love reading your comments. I hope the stress eating subsides soon. Remember to relax, take deep breaths, and focus on the positive aspects of your life. From your posts on CC, you are a caring giver to others and a talented food artisan with an inspiring zest for life!

  2. You put it so eloquently. Thank you! I feel like I told an artist what I wanted painted and it came out more stunning than I expected. Now I need to do some soul searching!

    • I hope that your soul searching leaves you happy, my friend. This was a beautiful topic to discuss and I am so happy that this post turned out how you wanted it. I hope we can continue to collaborate on more down the road!

  3. It’s funny that this is the topic of your post. This past weekend while visiting my parents I discovered my sister was angry at me. I couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t call me or talk to me on the phone. Yesterday I tried multiple times to call her and finally reached her. We talked for about an hour. She realized the reason she was angry with me was a misunderstanding. I don’t understand why she just didn’t call and ask me for an explanation to begin with. It made me sick just thinking about it for 2 days untl I finally got a hold of her. Your post was perfect!

  4. This is timely and heartfelt. It made me come up short and reflect on the relationships in my life and what I can do to affect changes in myself which in turn may affect change in those around me. Thank you shark & joyful!

    • Keeping and maintaining good family relationships can be difficult sometimes, but healthy relationships can be such a boost to your confidence, mood, and attitude. Great people such as yourself find ways to create those healthy relationships!

  5. Your post touches my heart. As a child, my Dad was an abusive parent. I thought I had ‘gotten rid of’ the anger and completely forgiven him – until I went on a vacation with him this past spring. He was still the same abusive man. I have had to re-visit my childhood and work on those feelings and memories – again. I have decided that we don’t have to be best friends, but it is important to strive to re-build this relationship, block by block. Even though it is difficult, it has been worth the time. What is the most important part of this scenario? Everyday I am bettering myself – changing me, getting healthier, moving on, because I am important. Blessings, Stacy

    • Self-improvement is a huge confidence booster that can help you gain the confidence that you need to deal with difficult issues like the one you describe. I hope you can re-build your relationship with your father. Remember that it will take time and patience, but the payoff will be beneficial for you both.

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